I really don’t know what I’m doing yet. I mean, do any of us? Perhaps that’s why I’m finally doing… it. To find out.
I started Wildlifeel at Home around 2023 with an idea that came from being fed up. It had been another employment experience, this one more disheartening than the last. I was unfulfilled, tense, exhausted, disappointed, and actually pretty sad about what I continued to witness in how people treat each other and in the actions we take against our natural world.
I didn’t know what Wildlifeel was going to become, but I knew if I just started building it in the way that I envisioned it in that moment, then the fog would clear in time. At least enough for me to take the next step later.
All I had in mind: at its most raw form, at the source, I wanted a website that linked home design with wildlife conservation. That’s it. No matter what it was beyond that, whether later or right stinking now, I’d be blissfully happy with it because I at least got the foundation perfect. Truly perfect.
The connection to these concepts, and linking them for eternity, was more than just because I wanted to lean into sustainable design. I mean, the companies I worked for certainly tried to be sustainable. And while I freelanced between those, I certainly tried too. But.. this is older than that.
In college, while earning my BFA in Interior Architecture from Columbia College Chicago back around 2010, I began thinking about the impact of design choices on wildlife. I distinctly remember thinking, “How does this material impact hummingbirds? Or even elephants across the globe?” Yep, that’s why I wrote this and this so early on. But I never found what I was asking for. And as school deadlines came and went, I settled with sustainable design and adaptive reuse courses. My questions were never far from my mind though.
Over the years, and numerous positions later, I was finally fed up with lite versions of this fundamentally-aligned concept. I built the website, the blog. I beefed up the about page, built a framework, called it a methodology studio as it’s an evolving study. And yes, even a very thoughtful services page – with packages.
I built myself a prison. I overbuilt. I tried too hard. I forced Wildlifeel at Home into a box because I thought the best impact I could make was to ensure that all that I did was in and for this studio. That meant income. And a presence on all the platforms. If I were to turn this into my job, I thought, I could live my day to day in impact. I could work for wildlife. I could fight habitat loss from within an industry that causes so much of it. But.. once I saw it all.. it was all wrong.
I think that realization started to stir when I wrote the linkedin post that expressed how happy I was to have built something the younger version of myself would have been proud of; that it the studio was still so closely linked to the rawest form I originally intended it to be. I felt it all to be true at the time, too. I had a ‘Materials & More’ Library, a 4-step framework, a beautiful client journey mapped out, a client portal, etc. It was the core concept of home design + wildlife conservation *evolved.* A sophisticated solo-studio. I was proud.
As the weeks went on, that one line just started to gnaw at me. Triggered during the day or night. It forced me to question whether it were true or not. If this is how alignment really felt. I was always ok with building something that others may not flock to, now or even ten years time. I was building for the chance that another like me will be looking, happy to find it exists. So this gnawing was much less about an absence of grand approval, and more so about my own.
Long story short, Wildlifeel at Home had to change. It needed to return to its roots, reground, reconnect. Stay there, even. Stay small, simple, slow. Only grow if absolutely necessary, and only in such a way that felt like a natural blossoming. Not forced. Not trying to be what it’s not.
This place needs time to figure itself out. And to tell me what’s around the corner. Not the other way around. Where this place and I agree is where it’ll remain until together we find out what’s next.
So, what does that mean logistically? This is no longer a sophisticated solo studio. For now, its a personal magazine of sorts. Plainly put: I suppose a personal/lifestyle blog. It gives this place breathing room to explore, stay curious, spontaneous. It allows me to grow into the role needed to do this place justice.
This pivot isn’t happening in a vacuum. Right now, as AI is reshaping how we create content and I’m back on the job hunt to keep financial pressure off this space, I’m realizing how much this slower, more personal approach matters.
AI has been interesting for me, here. I was an early-enough adopter, worked with it to create posts. Now, it feels wrong to do it. Thankfully I hadn’t yet fallen into using AI for visuals – I love creating my own too much. So, this pivot involves more time, energy, vulnerability in expressing my own unique thoughts, voice, and style. While it feels everyone and their mother leans towards efficient output, I’m actually slowing way the heck down. Rather than only educational content to help folks understand the impact and ripple effects of their individual choices on wildlife, and the advice to make more informed, compassionate choices instead .. well, I’m now infusing a whole lot more of me into that work. Scary.
But, AI can’t touch that. And I know that I really appreciate reading posts from others who remain open and honest, human. So – I’ll follow suit. It’s the same reason I’m choosing to favor certain platforms like substack, bluesky, linkedin, pinterest. I admire those who are there, and I want to be one among them.
So, if you’ve read down this far, know that I’m craving connection through this journey – very truthfully. As I mentioned, I certainly don’t see ten feet into this fog, but I’m walking it slowly. Stick with me if you’re interested in seeing where this goes, and you’d like to learn more about designing + building a home that allows wildlife to keep theirs, too.
